And I continue to write the love story...
Friday, June 29, 2007
You will never see me cry.
Raudhah.
A cheerful girl who likes to laugh her lungs out.She is very friendly and everyone wants to befriend with her.She is a girl full of hopes and dreams and I am sure she will make a dreams comes to reality.Insya'alla.Its been month since I saw her.I am surprised to say that I dont miss her in any way.I am absolutely ok with it.The last time she ever sms-ed me was during my birthday.I cannot deny that I love being with her.She keep me laugh.But sadly to say that I always feel so low.She will critic me like I have no feelings.I do feel hurt sometimes but I didnt show it.She somehow dont support me.Once,she saw me reading a book and she said to me "kau bace buku?jgn nak step mcm phm uhh..floor is lantai,kau jgn nak step pandai".I was hurt deep down inside but I tried my heart not to take her words so seriously that I pretend to laugh and took it as a joke.She always bully me and only CERTAIN days when she really be ggod to me.It is when she have a problem with Mubin and that she wants to blurt everything out.When it comes to her problems,somehow it turned out to be my problem too.I was used by my cousin Mubin to solve their problems.Their problem is my problems too.Once I thought that I could express my problems to Mubin because I was always there for him when he was needed a helping hand.But i was wrong,he can never listen to me.I was always wondering why am I being so good yet no one appreciate it.yet,they took advantage of me.They will look upon me when they are in trouble but when I am really in need of someone to talk to,Mubin and Raudhah are never actually there for me.I was crying deep inside.I was dissapointed but I never show it.
Hidayah.
She was once my favourite cousin.We were so close.Hidayah is a very sensitive and funny petite lil girl.She is 17 this year but she look more like 15.She have a sweet smile and I respect her in anyways.When she was in trouble,i was always there for her.When she cried,I was there to dry her tears.Things get worse between us and she always blame me like I was wrong always.I knew she hated me but I have no freaking idea why.She spam at my blog but she didnt used her real name.She tag at my lil sister blog saying that she felt sorry for my lil sis for having a big sister like me.She also said that if I didnt changed then evryone will hate me.I was so sad and dissapointed of her.I respect her and treat her as an adult because I thought she really deserve it from me.And now,she just forget about her cousins.She is always soo busy with her work and er BOYFRIEND.She never ever ask me out anymore and spent time together and when she was out with me and raudhah,she was always be the one who create problem.Like I said,she is very sensitive.So when she was upset with raudah,I was the only one among the cousins that she have that will go to her and cheer her p.But when it comes to me,no one is actually there.I am again being used.
You see bloggy.I was always kind towards them but somehow they take advantage of me.I dont understand why.And now,I have decided not to trust anyone excluding izzi,abg faiz,kak aishah,my family and myself.I will never share my problems to people because I know that they will never care about it and I understand that they also have their own problems.
YOU WILL NEVER SEE ME CRY.
11:37 PM
Yours truly.
Yours truly.