I cannot deny that you are one lovely dad.

I am always proud to have you as my father because

you have what every father's don't. You are very caring

and very talented. I am glad that I have your genes. I

really thank god for that. I will always love you dad.

But, YOU NEVER understand me.

Maybe I don't have the rights. Oh well.

Who am i?? I'm just your daughter right??

Dad, why can't you understand me?? Why

didn't you pour out your love to me?? Why dad?

Is it wrong of me to ask you for understanding me?

You seldom make me happy. SELDOM. You are

different from what you used to be 10-11 years back.

With you behaving like this, it makes me confuse on how

to live my life. I want to live my life to the fullest,

enjoying every second of my life but YOU never allow

me to do that. Stop talking about " undang2 ugama ". I

know how to take care of myself. I know what is right and

what is wrong but sometimes you are being too over.

I hate that, seriously. Let me make a mistake so that I can

learned from it. uurgh. It's just so hard to let it out in words.

oh well, let it be then. I can only istighfar.....

5:56 AM
Yours truly.

Apparently not the biggestf fight ever between Dad and myself. We always quarrell if you guys want to know. Basically he can't lose to me or should I say, He DON'T WANT to lose to me. How pathetic? haahaa. I'm not trying to criticize you but like I said, they way you speak to me sucks. I really hate the way you talked to me. And for that, I can't stop myself from shouting or talking back at you. I really don't understand you and I don't think I can understand you and YOU understanding me. You always find fault with me like I am the RUDEST DAUGHTER you could only have. I didn't mean to talk back or school you but I just couldnt take it anymore. I swear I cant!! You always put me into confusion. God, please tell me if It's wrong standing for my own rights and is it always PARENTS who can only be RIGHT FORVER?? Is it VERY wrong for a daughter to clarify her doubts and told her own opinion?? UUrghh....Dad, what do you really want from me??? WHAT??? TELL ME??? I cannot be perfect because I am not one. You made me cried while writting this. I am pissed and SAD and CONFUSED at the same time. Haiizzz..Ayah ckp macam ayah sorang jek leh betol..Salah ker kalau kakak ckp perkare yang benar?? Ckp jek lah yang ayah tk leh terima..You don't have to pin point me EVERYTIME. For goodness sake, YOUR RUDEST DAUGHTER( like what you said) has a FEELING. Kakak ader hati dan perasaan. Kakak tak tau uhh aper lagik ayah nak dari kakak.. If you hate me then you might as well give me to other family or worst.. just IGNORE ME. Just pretend that I am not your daughter..ok??? ayah fikir ayah sorang jek yang betol??? Kakak tk leh lari dari kesilapan lahh ayah.. I cannot. Slamer nie, kakak dah try to change jadi seorang anak yang solehah..I was close to it but then sometimes..perbualan ayah uat kakak binget!!!! You don't know how to respect ur children and tell me how am I suppose to respect u ??? Mesti ker anak-anak jek hormat org tue?? Abeh parents tak yah respect kiter sbagai anak uhh?? Serious uhh. I don't know what to say anymore. Let me say this once and for all uhh ehkk.....

AFTER THIS INCIDENT.. I AM NOT GOING TO SAY A WORD.

I LET YOU WIN SINCE YOU CANNOT LOSE. OKEHH????????

I LET YOU FEEL LIKE A KING!!! ALRIGHT???? I AM THE WORST

DAUGHTER YOU CAN HAVE OKEHH???? AND IM SORRY FOR
THAT. I HAVE TO STAND FOR MY OWN RIGHTS!!! I AM NOT
GOING TO ARGUE WIH YOU ANYMORE. DO WHATEVER AS U WISH

SINCE I AM NOT ALLOWED TO SAY MY PART. YOU ARE FOREVER

RIGHT OKEHH??? AND I AM ALWAYS WRONG!! OKEHH?????

AAARRRRRRGGGGHHHH!!! I WANNA GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE!!

5:26 AM
Yours truly.

I hate you but at the same time, I MISS YOU BADLY.

I seriously thought that you could be my long lasting bestfriend, but hell no. I was wrong again! Fuck. I should not have any bestfriend lahh because sooner or later, I know they will dissappear. I really want to share all my tears and joy with you zimah. You always told me that I'm your bestfriend when I know that Im actually not. You are a very cheerful girl and I thought that I could be with you since you and I have passion for dancing. Through all those years we spent together in sec 3 and four, we go through a lot of thick and thins together. I am always there for you and I can say that you are also there for me when Im in need but it didn't last. I knew that now, you have a new bunch of lovely friends that can really complete your life. I am happy for you. Despite being happy, I was feeling very sad and dissapointed too. My dear Hazimah, you left me. You left me and concentrate more on your new friends. Why ?? I thought that you were my bestfriend that can never be seperated from one another ?? I find it very funny and irritating when you can always go out with your new loveable friends and went home late but when it came to me, you can NEVER go out. There will always be a reason. Kadang2 kau kater kau saket lah, ur mom tak kasi kluar lahh, ez-link card tk top up lahh, tkder duit lahh. You gave me sooo many reasons!! YOU ALWAYS BUSTED ME, NADZ and IZZI. Why zimah why ?? To be honest, I am so dissapointed of you, I SWEAR! Oh well, since you are now happy with them, I just want to congratulate you yeahh.. I hope you achieve your dreams of becoming a passionate dancer. I am happy for you. Whatever it is, im still proud to call you my friend when I REALLY want you to be my bestfriend. Till here then.. Missing you always little lady..=)

5:55 AM
Yours truly.