I don't know where should I start. Boyfriend, I hope you're listening what I am trying to say it here. Before I start, I want to apologise if any of the words written offend you. The truth hurts. But whatever it is, I love you.

I just feel that you don't even bother, do you?? After all those things I tried to tell you about me feeling depressed and stuff, you just don't care arent you?? I want to tell you just how down deep I feel lately but I don't think you're listening. I feel stranded, in my own world. I don't feel that you care about me anymore, even if you did, I don't see it.

1) You're the only person left that I think I can lean on to. But lately, you just don't care. Texted you about me feeling depressed and you got that sms but you did nothing about it. You continue sleeping. You don't even bother to talk it out with me dear. I feel sad knowing that the person whom I always thought I could lean on to isn't listening to me anymore. The only thing that make you lively when we had a short conversation was about game. You're awake when it comes to that. I'm shouting and crying for help deep down and how I wish you could see it. I've been waiting for you to strike a conversation with me, asking me if I'm alright and how I'm feeling lately and if I got anything to say to you and you'll listen and then be there for me when I needed you the most. I was waiting for all of that to happen but it doesn't. I guess what you say was right. I can't expect someone to act initiatively towards me. Haiiz. Is that really your intuition hunney??? You just dont bother and that sliced me in the heart. The only thing I know was you saying " ehk? haha ". Why is it so hard for you to listen?? You are wonderful in all that you can be but it hurt when you say that you'll be there for me. I'm problematic, I know. But all I need was just a pair of listening ears. Is that too expensive for you to give. I know that you know how I feel lately but you don't bother about it. I was sad, totally sad. I'm sorry to say this but the only advice you gave to me that I thought it was wise was when you advising me about me skipping skool. That was the best piece of advice I got from you. And when I told you that I had lost my interest in studies, what did you do to make me feel better or inspired??


Forget about me pouring out to my friends, families and my sister. They don't even bother too. Lil sissy is busy pouring her feelings to me and when I did mine to hers, she replied me pathetically. Isn't it heart throbbing to see that your own sibling just can't be bothered too?? Friends? Forget about it. I don't want to say about them. They're just my laughing friends. It's sad that I have to depend on SEVENTEEN MAGAZINE, A NON LIVING THINGS for help and AN EMAIL for me to spill all my feelings out when I know I have family, friends, sibling and boyfriend around me.


I'm falling apart and the only thing I can depend on is my fortitude that is crumbling.Bf, You're the last person that I thought I could lean on but I guess I was wrong. Plus, I don't want to trouble you either. I know you have a bad history with your ex and that makes you selfish, am I right?? Honestly, you are wonderful person but when it comes to solving our fights, you need to improve on it. Don't just say blindly so that you feel better when the person around you got hurt. That is not the way. Listening to one another is very important. I know, sometimes I'm at fault too but please correct me in a proper way. I have feelings that easily get bruise. You have feeligs too that I want to take care of. Everyone deserves something extraordinary. Sometimes, I also wonder. Why you got mad when I poured out my problems to you and when I cried, you asked me to stop. Do I really got on your nerves when I complain about my life?? I cried because I feel that, that is the only way for me to feel better.


I don't want to whine about it but I hope I can get back on track when I email seventeen. I hope it works for me. I know I can't depend on others. It's my life, I handle it. Haizzz.



To boyfriend, even after this post. I will still love you like how I have love you from the start. I may be dissapointed in you but I'll never lose hope on you. I hold on to you until you let go of me. I'll stick with you until you say it's time for us to go seperate ways. I don't mean any harm here but this is the only way I can get you attention and listen o what I have to say. I love you and I really do.