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Syaa
Hii
Rawr And I continue to write the love story... |
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Friday, June 27, 2008
Conversations are cut short.10 minutes and after that, hung up. No specific topics to talk about. Very quiet. I've been trying to live with it and yes, I did. Maybe situation does not allow us to have the long conversation that I have been longing for. Is it you? or is it me?? What worsen the condition is having you not being able to text me. Prepaid low. Everytime when my handphone beep, the first name I really hope to see on my hp screen is " hubbyku ", but I was always turned down. I seriously miss it, like ALOT. I am not trying to be unreasonable or not understanding but I just want to express my thoughts out. If i'm not being understanding, I would have been pestering you to top up your prepaid card since the first day your prepaid went low, because I hate not to have any communication with you. Communication is the key for every good relationship. I don't want perfect relationship but I just hate not to be able to contact with you. I am not trying to be dependant on you or worst, clinging around you for 24 hours but sometimes, I just need your attention. That's all. Attention seeker, am I? Hmmmm. Idk. hahahaha. Well I've been thinking. Is it me who talk less or is it you who talk less in every conversation we had on the phone? How I wonder. Hmmmmm. Oh well, just live with it. Will get used to it over a period of time. Im sorry if I always wants to be with you dear.. I will try and lessen it aite. I will try to be independant yeah. hahahaha. Ooooh!! My head is aching and spinning. How I have always detest it. Nyahahaha. Who doesnt?? lol. I turned 17 last wednesday. I have already made some promises to myself and I will try to achieve it, insya'allah. I don't want to live my life like how I used to live it when I was 16 years of age. I need to change for the better. " If I am in a wrong, I will admit it and If I am right, I will just shut my mouth up ". I'm going to try to hold on to those words above. My mindset will be different now. How different?? It's like this... 1) Family and Religion ( insya'allah) is my first priority. 2) Followed by myself. 3) and then my education 4) relationship and last but not least 5) My friends. nyeahahaha!!! I am getting older as day passed, not younger. I'm growing, not shrinking. I will be adults one day, not toddler. Things have to change. Period. I must know how to choose between the good apple and the rotten one. I must be able to differentiate between good or bad. Somehow, someday...my life will flash upon my eyes and I am going to make sure that it's worth watching. My life, my MOVIE.. " I am not afraid to keep on living...and I am not afraid to walk this world alone..", taken from the song Famous Last Word by Chemical Romance. BUT why am still afraid of the dark?? Idk why. Hahahahaha. Words may be poisonous but I must try not to let the poisonous words bring me down. People have their own philosophy and conspiracy..respect it and live with it. Making the right choice is hard and living life the right way is never too easy. Hurdles and bumps are anywhere and disaster may strike on me anytime. That's how life works. Isn't it?? Everything happens for a reason. I must learn to accept it for it's not a bad omen. Set backs happen and it doesnt mean FAILURE. Set backs happen because it wants us to get up on our feet again and be strong to face the reality. Don't give up Irah. That is not the way how I should live my life, that is to give up. Life is not an illusion nor fantasy. It's reality. hahahaha. Okayy. Finally, I'm done motivating myself. THE END.
4:11 AM
Yours truly. |
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