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Syaa
Hii
Rawr And I continue to write the love story... |
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Friday, June 13, 2008
[ this post dont mean any harm to anyone, im just expressing my emotions. can right? ] Dearest Shahrin, To be honest, I've been crying for 5 days straight. Mostly, I cried at night when syu is sleeping and while I'm taking my shower. That's why I've been covering my eyes with thick eye liner because without it, my eyes looks like goldfish eyes. hahahahaha. Ok Ok serious. I cried because I feel so sad. I don't know if it's my emotions that is playing with me but I just feel that we're no longer happy like we used to be. That is what I feel. I seriously miss EVERYTHING!!!! Is it me who always think negative or what?? I pon tk tau seii b. I've been very strong but I just need to cry in order to feel better. I dont want to think negative and I really really tried my very best but somehow, negative thoughts starts to occupied my brain and I fucking hate it. Not only that, I feel that you are treating me differently. This is what I feel lah kan. I rase mcm u da mls nk layan i and u mcm tkder mood everytime u meet me. I can really feel the difference seii but I don't know whether this has got to do with my negative thoughts or my real feeling. I just feel that I dont get your attention anymore seii. Ntah lah syg..I have no idea why im feeling so insecure. Don't you think and feel that we're just not that happy and sweet anymore?? I feel it. How bout you?? I know I'm very irritating, suker buang duit, childish and more but that's my flaws and Im trying my best to work on it. I need time to change and I really mean it when I say I WANT TO CHANGE. And I also feel that your love towards me is decreasing and if it's true, I dont blame you. I blame myself. Haaaaaaiiizzz, I dont want to cry anymore. I'm tired of shedding so many tears. I'm tired of living with goldfish eyes. Hahahahaa. B, if I really need to change my attitude, pleeeeaaasse tell me dear. I would do ANYTHING for you. ANYTHING. As you always know. YOU are very special to me and you are VERY SPECIAL and MEANINGFUL to me. And I mean VERY. I've never love someone soo much before until I met you. I know you are being strict to me because I know you want to help me change and I understand that. SOmetimes, I just feel that I'm a useless girlfriend to you and I am just a burden in your life. I seriously hate to think negative and I want to STOP thinking negative but I need some confidence in me. I dont want to live under the shadow of negative thoughs. Dearest Shahrin, I love you soooooooo much and I would give my life for you. You are the only one that I feel most comfortable with and I am so used to be with you that even a day without you can turn my life into disaster. I really need you in my life because I live my life for you. You may think that I'm crazy but I dont care because I know that I love you and it's sincere, you know it. Haizz. I hate to cry, even now when I'm typing. My emotions is tearing me apart. Don't get it all wrong, Im just trying to tell you my deepest feeling, not complaining. I want to feel better. Haaiizz. Thats about it. Baby, don't let me go dear. I love you sooooo much and I mean SOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!! I cant bare to lose you.
4:41 AM
Yours truly. |
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